"My Aussie Boyfriend's 'Romantic Gesture' Almost Landed Me in the Emergency Room"

"My Aussie Boyfriend's 'Romantic Gesture' Almost Landed Me in the Emergency Room"

Being with an Aussie has been a wild ride of slang I sometimes only half-understand and a laid-back attitude that can be both charming and slightly terrifying. But I love him, quirks and all. Especially his attempts at being romantic, which are… uniquely Australian.
For our anniversary last weekend, Mick told me he had a "ripper surprise" planned. Now, in my head, I was picturing a fancy dinner, maybe a weekend getaway. Something… conventional. Mick, however, has his own definition of romance.
He blindfolded me after work on Friday, led me out to the backyard, and then dramatically whipped the blindfold off. There, in the middle of our somewhat overgrown lawn, was… a giant inflatable pool filled with ice and what looked suspiciously like raw seafood.
"Happy Anniversary, love!" he grinned, brandishing a pair of tongs. "We're gonna have a proper Aussie seafood boil!"
Now, for those not in the know, a seafood boil isn't inherently dangerous. But Mick's version was… extreme. The ice looked like it had been scavenged from a construction site, and the "seafood" consisted of prawns that were still twitching slightly, some very questionable-looking crabs, and a couple of oysters that had definitely seen better days.
"Mick," I said slowly, trying to keep the horror out of my voice, "what exactly… is going on here?"
"It's a bloody feast, Sheila!" he exclaimed, using his favorite (and sometimes slightly offensive) term of endearment. "Fresh from the ocean, just for you!" He then proceeded to toss a live yabby (a freshwater crayfish, for the uninitiated) into the icy water, where it promptly tried to make a break for freedom.
I'm not a squeamish person, but the scene in front of me was bordering on something out of a survival documentary. The sheer amount of unprepared, borderline-alive seafood in a freezing inflatable pool was… unsettling.
"But… the cooking?" I stammered. "Aren't we going to, you know, cook it?"
Mick just laughed, a hearty Aussie bellow. "Nah, mate! The ice kinda… shocks 'em. Keeps 'em fresh! We'll just chuck 'em on the barbie later!"
Barbie. Right. Because the logical next step after a freezing ice bath is a scorching hot grill.
I tried to explain my concerns about food safety, about potential bacteria and the fact that some of those crabs looked like they’d been fossilized. But Mick was in his element, regaling me with tales of his childhood seafood boils on the beach, where apparently, salmonella was just a myth.
The "romantic" evening involved me nervously watching Mick wrestle with a particularly feisty mud crab while trying to discreetly Google "seafood poisoning symptoms." He ate with gusto, cracking shells and slurping down oysters like it was the most natural thing in the world. I managed a single, suspiciously cold prawn before politely excusing myself to the bathroom, where I contemplated calling a hazmat team.
The night ended with Mick happily snoring in bed, smelling faintly of brine and adventure, while I lay awake, convinced I was developing a mysterious tropical disease.
The next day, thankfully, I didn't end up in the emergency room. But the memory of that icy seafood extravaganza will forever be etched in my mind as the epitome of Mick's uniquely Australian brand of romance.
So, Reddit, has anyone else's partner's grand romantic gesture completely backfired? And are all Aussie seafood boils this… intense? I need to know if this is normal or if I should start investing in a good supply of activated charcoal. Cheers! 😉