"My Aussie Mum's 'Helpful' Advice on My Dating Profile Was Mortifyingly Public"

"My Aussie Mum's 'Helpful' Advice on My Dating Profile Was Mortifyingly Public"

Living away from home, especially in a different country, sometimes means relying on your family for… well, everything. And my mum back in Epping, bless her cotton socks, is always ready to offer her "helpful" advice, whether I want it or not. This time, her well-intentioned meddling went viral.
I've been trying the whole online dating thing. It's a mixed bag, as everyone knows. So, when Mum called one Sunday arvo for our usual chat, the topic inevitably turned to my love life (or lack thereof).
"So, love," she began, her voice full of that familiar maternal concern, "how's that 'Tinder' thingy going?"
I sighed. "It's… a process, Mum. Lots of swiping."
"Well," she declared, as if she'd just solved the world's problems, "have you put a nice photo up? One where you're smiling properly?"
We went through the usual photo critique, and then she got onto the bio. "What have you written about yourself? You need to sound interesting, you know."
I told her I'd kept it light and mentioned my love for hiking and bad puns. Apparently, that wasn't cutting it for Mum.
"Hiking? Bad puns? Honestly, love, you need to sell yourself! Tell them you're a good cook! Mention you like animals! Everyone loves a girl who likes animals!"
Before I could protest, she exclaimed, "Right, give me your login details. I'll have a quick look and see if I can jazz it up a bit."
Now, I should have said no. A firm, resolute no. But Mum has this way of being so well-meaning and persistent that you just… give in. Thinking she'd just tweak a word or two, I foolishly handed over my login.
Big mistake. Huge.
The next morning, my phone was blowing up. Messages from friends, acquaintances, even a few random people I vaguely knew. All of them were sending me screenshots of my dating profile.
Mum had not just "jazzed it up a bit." She had completely rewritten it. And she had done it in a style that could only be described as… Mum-speak.
My carefully crafted bio now read something like: "Lovely Aussie girl living abroad! Chloe here, and I'm a real catch! I can whip up a mean spaghetti bolognese (my secret family recipe!), and I just adore all creatures great and small – especially fluffy kittens! Looking for a nice young man who's good to his mother. Bonus points if you own a ute!"
She had also added several photos I specifically hadn't used, including one of me awkwardly holding our family cat, Kevin, who looked less than thrilled to be involved. And to top it all off, she'd changed my age to two years younger "to make you more appealing to the young blokes."
The embarrassment was overwhelming. My dating profile, which was supposed to be a reflection of me, now sounded like a personal ad from the local newspaper, written by my well-intentioned but utterly clueless mother.
The messages ranged from amused emojis to outright laughter. One friend commented, "The ute line is gold!" Another asked if Kevin the cat came as part of the package.
I immediately changed my password and frantically tried to edit the damage, but the internet is forever. Screenshots were circulating, and my dating life had become a public spectacle, all thanks to Mum's "helpful" intervention.
When I finally called her, she was beaming. "See, love? I told you I could help! You'll be swamped with nice young men in no time!"
I didn't have the heart to tell her that the only thing I was swamped with was mortification.
So, Reddit, has anyone else's well-meaning family ever completely sabotaged their dating life? And is there a support group for people whose mothers have rewritten their dating profiles? Asking for a very embarrassed friend from Down Under. 😉