"My Neighbour's Passive-Aggressive Notes Are Driving Me Absolutely Bonkers"

"My Neighbour's Passive-Aggressive Notes Are Driving Me Absolutely Bonkers"
 

Living in a shared building, you expect a certain level of… tolerance. We're all crammed in together, trying to navigate different lifestyles and noise levels. For the most part, it's been okay in my building. Until I met Agnes from 2B.
Agnes is… particular. She's retired, spends a lot of time tending to her prize-winning begonias on her balcony, and has a penchant for leaving very specific, very polite, but utterly infuriating notes.
It started subtly. A small, pastel-colored sticky note on my door: "Dear Neighbour, Could you perhaps be a little more mindful of the volume of your television after 10 pm? Some of us early birds appreciate a quiet start to the day. Thank you kindly, Agnes (2B)."
Okay, fair enough. I probably had been watching that true crime documentary a little too loud. I turned the volume down. Problem solved, right? Wrong.
The notes kept coming, each one a masterpiece of veiled criticism wrapped in saccharine politeness.
A note stuck to my washing machine in the shared laundry room: "To the Resident using the machine, Just a gentle reminder that the lint trap should be cleared after each use. It helps maintain the efficiency of the appliance for everyone. Warm regards, Agnes." (I swear I always clear the lint trap!).
A note taped to my bicycle in the hallway: "Hello, The hallway is a shared space, and while your bicycle is lovely, it does present a slight obstruction. Perhaps there is a more suitable storage area? Sincerely, Agnes." (My bike is neatly tucked against the wall!).
The latest one, which pushed me over the edge, was left on my doormat this morning: "Greetings, The delightful aroma of your cooking is… certainly noticeable. While I appreciate diverse culinary experiences, the lingering scent of (I suspect) garlic and spices can be a little overpowering for sensitive noses. Wishing you a fragrant day, Agnes." (I made a mild lentil curry last night!).
It's not just the content of the notes; it's the tone! The "kindly," the "gentle reminder," the "warm regards" – it's all so passive-aggressive it makes my teeth itch. She never confronts me directly. It's always these little missives, delivered with the precision of a seasoned diplomat dropping a thinly veiled threat.
I've tried to be extra quiet, meticulously clear the lint trap (even when it's practically empty), and my bike is practically hugging the wall. But still, the notes appear, like tiny, pastel harbingers of Agnes's disapproval.
I've considered writing my own notes back. Something equally polite but dripping with sarcasm. "Dearest Agnes, Thank you for your insightful observations on my auditory, laundry, vehicular, and olfactory habits. I shall endeavor to exist with the minimal possible impact on your delicate sensibilities. With the utmost consideration, Your Noisy, Lint-Producing, Bicycle-Owning, Garlic-Loving Neighbour (2A)."
But I haven't done it yet. I'm worried it will escalate into a full-blown passive-aggressive war, fought with sticky notes and lingering food smells.
Has anyone else dealt with a neighbour like this? How do you handle such extreme politeness masking utter annoyance? Do I engage in the sticky note battle, try to have an actual (gasp!) conversation, or just move out and start a new life in a soundproof, scent-free bubble? My sanity is on the line!